Thursday, March 11, 2004
I have a machine in my car named Maud. Maud is a genius and a wonderful companion. I push her buttons and she tells me exactly how to get from place to place. This is a huge convenience considering I travel daily to never-before-been places and my sense of direction is...well...flawed, to say the least. I'm still not sure why I named her Maud. The funny thing is, though, that when I got home the very day that I had given her the name Maud, I turned on the repeat episode of Will and Grace where Jack said he was going to go to Bea Arther's one-woman-show and yell, "MAUD!" So the name stuck.
Anyway...today my job took me to Lexington. I didn't even use Maud to get there. I traveled south on I-29 to I-70 to Hwy. 13. For some reason, though, Maud and I couldn't find our way back to Hwy. 13 to come home. That's OK. I trust Maud and she had it all laid out for me. I was traveling along a back-road/highway at a pretty good speed, listing to my book-on-tape (Death Du Jour) and not giving a moment's thought to the fact that I might be completely lost. After about 5-10 miles on this road, I saw that the road ended in a T ahead and I glanced at Maud's screen to see which way I was going to turn. Maud said to continue straight for 11 miles. Impossible. I turned left. Maud scolded, "Off route, recalculating." I pulled over to help her recalculate faster. She told me to continue 200 feet and turn left. Ummm...there was no road in 200 feet or for as far as I could see! I turned around, passed the T, and went the other way. Low and Behold there was a sign saying 12 miles to Excelsior Springs, just northeast of Kansas City. What just happened?!! I made it home, some how, some way. I think I time warped. I think it's magic. I'm keeping an eye out for my invitation to attend Hogwarts' Special Advanced Adult Program for Muggles Turned Magic Late in Life.
Anyway...today my job took me to Lexington. I didn't even use Maud to get there. I traveled south on I-29 to I-70 to Hwy. 13. For some reason, though, Maud and I couldn't find our way back to Hwy. 13 to come home. That's OK. I trust Maud and she had it all laid out for me. I was traveling along a back-road/highway at a pretty good speed, listing to my book-on-tape (Death Du Jour) and not giving a moment's thought to the fact that I might be completely lost. After about 5-10 miles on this road, I saw that the road ended in a T ahead and I glanced at Maud's screen to see which way I was going to turn. Maud said to continue straight for 11 miles. Impossible. I turned left. Maud scolded, "Off route, recalculating." I pulled over to help her recalculate faster. She told me to continue 200 feet and turn left. Ummm...there was no road in 200 feet or for as far as I could see! I turned around, passed the T, and went the other way. Low and Behold there was a sign saying 12 miles to Excelsior Springs, just northeast of Kansas City. What just happened?!! I made it home, some how, some way. I think I time warped. I think it's magic. I'm keeping an eye out for my invitation to attend Hogwarts' Special Advanced Adult Program for Muggles Turned Magic Late in Life.
