Saturday, July 31, 2004
On Wednesday, D came to Kansas City to visit me. We went to the mall shopped for a dress for Jeff's wedding. I love to shop. Love, love, love to shop! My top three favorite people to shop with, with my favorite being number one, are:
1) My mom (because we laugh so hard and always share a dressing room)
2) D (because we laugh so hard and he can (and does) shop til we drop)
3) My Brad (because we laugh so hard and he has impeccable taste)
My mom couldn't come shopping with me, so I was forced to wait for David to come to town. This was a little scary because I was waiting until the week before the wedding to shop for a dress. That may be easy for some of you, but I am IMPOSSIBLE to fit.
We started our quest in my new favorite store, White House/Black Market. I am wearing a little black strapless number to the rehearsal dinner, and I don't need two little black dresses, so I really was concentrating on the white dresses. I tried on three or four dresses, and of course nothing fit. We went on to every other store in the mall and found NOTHING! At this point we were getting a little panicked. This stupid wedding is all fancy schmancy and I had nothing appropriate. So we went back to White House/Black Market and did what we should have been doing all along. Have I learned nothing in my years of dress shopping? D started pulling out every size ** in the place (I'm not mentioning my size because I don't want you to hate me) and I tried them all on, regardless of whether I liked them. Finally we found a match. Don't you hate it when your mom is right? She used to always say, "Just try it on! It looks different on the hanger." It's true.
Now the fun part! We leave and head for DSW, my other new favorite store. D admitted that he wasn't that great at shoe shopping, but no matter because I have excellent taste in shoes. We found the perfect shoes for both outfits.
The point is, I'm going to look great at the wedding and really stick it to Kamille. How vindictive am I?
1) My mom (because we laugh so hard and always share a dressing room)
2) D (because we laugh so hard and he can (and does) shop til we drop)
3) My Brad (because we laugh so hard and he has impeccable taste)
My mom couldn't come shopping with me, so I was forced to wait for David to come to town. This was a little scary because I was waiting until the week before the wedding to shop for a dress. That may be easy for some of you, but I am IMPOSSIBLE to fit.
We started our quest in my new favorite store, White House/Black Market. I am wearing a little black strapless number to the rehearsal dinner, and I don't need two little black dresses, so I really was concentrating on the white dresses. I tried on three or four dresses, and of course nothing fit. We went on to every other store in the mall and found NOTHING! At this point we were getting a little panicked. This stupid wedding is all fancy schmancy and I had nothing appropriate. So we went back to White House/Black Market and did what we should have been doing all along. Have I learned nothing in my years of dress shopping? D started pulling out every size ** in the place (I'm not mentioning my size because I don't want you to hate me) and I tried them all on, regardless of whether I liked them. Finally we found a match. Don't you hate it when your mom is right? She used to always say, "Just try it on! It looks different on the hanger." It's true.
Now the fun part! We leave and head for DSW, my other new favorite store. D admitted that he wasn't that great at shoe shopping, but no matter because I have excellent taste in shoes. We found the perfect shoes for both outfits.
The point is, I'm going to look great at the wedding and really stick it to Kamille. How vindictive am I?
Monday, July 26, 2004
Saturday we went to the Cardinal/Giants game. I don't really follow baseball like I used to, but I LOVE going to baseball games. Major league, minor league, little league, they're just FUN!
After the game, we did this.
Then we went to Colleen's house (my sister-in-law) and watched this.
It was a good weekend.
After the game, we did this.
Then we went to Colleen's house (my sister-in-law) and watched this.
It was a good weekend.
Friday, July 23, 2004
Last night was the last night of the Northland Conference Swimming Championships. Thank goodness it is over until next summer! The last three nights have found me in the blazing heat cheering on our little swimmers, giving advice and knowledge, and drying their tears after bad swims. Last night was the finals. Everyone who had made the top 12 during the previous two nights swam again last night...for the gold! Unfortunately, I was so preoccupied with thoughts and worries about the scheduled coaches relay that I could barely remember my own swimmers' names. The kids were very sweet and loved it that I was nervous. They gave me lots of advise and all promised to cheer hard and yell at anyone who was laughing at me.
It wasn't the swimming part I was worried about (although it turns out I should have been), but the start. I realized yesterday, after agreeing to swim in the relay, that it had been 7 years since I have gone off of the starting blocks. Seven years! Then it all started coming back to me...the bad dives, too deep, too shallow, my goggles falling off! There is nothing worse than losing your goggles during the start. You can hear the mutters from the crowd. She lost her goggles. Oh! She lost her goggles! Poor thing. Oooooh, her goggles came off! It's embarrassing! I'm the coach! The whole going off the block and losing my goggles thing was just gnawing at me all day.
Finally, it is time for us to race. It is only fair that I mention that it is after 11:00 at night at this point. That is far after my bed time and they are asking me to RACE?! Here is the lineup for our 200 meter medley relay:
Backstroke: Coach Phil
Breaststroke: Yours Truly
Butterfly: Coach Matt
Freestyle: Coach Phil's dad (He was even more nervous that I was!)
For those who don't know about such things, most non-Olympic meets are done in a 25 meter pool. That means we each do 2 lengths of our stroke. Ok. Phillip got us off to a great start. Everyone was neck and neck when it came time for the breaststoke leg of the race. I don't dare look at my opponents. And...we're off! Hey, my goggles are still on! I feel good. I'm swimming strong and hard. My rhythm is good. My turn is fast. What's that? Who's that there? I'm not far into my second length and I see an entire pool of flyers coming my way. How did they get so far ahead of me? Oh, the mortification. I was so busy remembering how horrible it was to lose my goggles that I forgot how horrible it was to be DEAD LAST.
All the kids are there to hug me and give my high fives. Bunch of little liars telling me how great I was. I looked and Phil and his dad and said, "I was swimming against a bunch of boys, wasn't I?" "Yep," they said together.
Not fair!
It wasn't the swimming part I was worried about (although it turns out I should have been), but the start. I realized yesterday, after agreeing to swim in the relay, that it had been 7 years since I have gone off of the starting blocks. Seven years! Then it all started coming back to me...the bad dives, too deep, too shallow, my goggles falling off! There is nothing worse than losing your goggles during the start. You can hear the mutters from the crowd. She lost her goggles. Oh! She lost her goggles! Poor thing. Oooooh, her goggles came off! It's embarrassing! I'm the coach! The whole going off the block and losing my goggles thing was just gnawing at me all day.
Finally, it is time for us to race. It is only fair that I mention that it is after 11:00 at night at this point. That is far after my bed time and they are asking me to RACE?! Here is the lineup for our 200 meter medley relay:
Backstroke: Coach Phil
Breaststroke: Yours Truly
Butterfly: Coach Matt
Freestyle: Coach Phil's dad (He was even more nervous that I was!)
For those who don't know about such things, most non-Olympic meets are done in a 25 meter pool. That means we each do 2 lengths of our stroke. Ok. Phillip got us off to a great start. Everyone was neck and neck when it came time for the breaststoke leg of the race. I don't dare look at my opponents. And...we're off! Hey, my goggles are still on! I feel good. I'm swimming strong and hard. My rhythm is good. My turn is fast. What's that? Who's that there? I'm not far into my second length and I see an entire pool of flyers coming my way. How did they get so far ahead of me? Oh, the mortification. I was so busy remembering how horrible it was to lose my goggles that I forgot how horrible it was to be DEAD LAST.
All the kids are there to hug me and give my high fives. Bunch of little liars telling me how great I was. I looked and Phil and his dad and said, "I was swimming against a bunch of boys, wasn't I?" "Yep," they said together.
Not fair!
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I know when I'm grumpy. I don't need you to tell me. I don't want you to tell me to smile. I don't want you or anyone else to bob your head in front of mine while you hold your stupid fingers to the stupid corners of your mouth, jumping from foot to foot saying, "Smile! Smile!" Give me a break. I'm a functioning adult, for Pete's sake.
I don't need you to say, "Are you in a bad mood?" YES, AND NOW I'M IN A WORSE MOOD! I don't want the polite, "Ummm, are you having a bad day?" No. My day is fine. Fine and dandy. I just don't feel like being all cute and funny. Ok? No comments. No questions. Not until tomorrow. Good day. I said good day!! (Fes. That 70's Show. Anyone?)
Argh, is it Friday yet?
I don't need you to say, "Are you in a bad mood?" YES, AND NOW I'M IN A WORSE MOOD! I don't want the polite, "Ummm, are you having a bad day?" No. My day is fine. Fine and dandy. I just don't feel like being all cute and funny. Ok? No comments. No questions. Not until tomorrow. Good day. I said good day!! (Fes. That 70's Show. Anyone?)
Argh, is it Friday yet?
Friday, July 16, 2004
It had been too long since I had spoken to D. He called the other day to tell me:
1) That he would be home in a week and would be in Missouri for 3 WHOLE WEEKS!
2) That he had just caught up on my blogs and that he thought they were funny (Thanks, D!).
3) That he was becoming jealous of the Goods.
D knows that he just has to say GO and I'll call whoever I need to call, give all the juicy details of his lifestyle, he'll get kicked out of the military, and he can come back to Kansas City and claim his place in my life and, therefore, in my blogs. Goods? What Goods? (KIDDING, Goods! You know I love you. You are a lovely couple, but you simply are not a gay man.)
My agenda for D when I get to see him? Shop, shop, shop! D and I LOVE to shop! I need a fabulous dress to wear to Jeff's wedding, fabulous shoes for that dress, fabulous shoes for my other dress for the rehearsal dinner (because we all know the shoes make the outfit, am I right?), and of course the perfect accessories. I can't wait!...
...While writing this I had a call from JW. JW is a girlfriend who is right now in Pennsylvania training to be an investigator like me! Anyway, JW is also jealous of the attention I pay to the Goods in my blog. I told her, as I told D, that she could move her little tush back to Kansas City and I would write about her more. In case you are interested, JW is the girl D tried to like in college. She was, as he put it, his last attempt at a normal life. They could have been very happy, except for the whole he's gay thing.
I hear my husband playing Mario Bros. He's trying to get better than me. It won't happen. I'm the Mario Bros. queen! Still, I'd better go play. You know, pretend I want to play with him so I can keep an eye on his progress. If he gets too good, I'll sneak in more Mario when he's not home. Sneaky!
1) That he would be home in a week and would be in Missouri for 3 WHOLE WEEKS!
2) That he had just caught up on my blogs and that he thought they were funny (Thanks, D!).
3) That he was becoming jealous of the Goods.
D knows that he just has to say GO and I'll call whoever I need to call, give all the juicy details of his lifestyle, he'll get kicked out of the military, and he can come back to Kansas City and claim his place in my life and, therefore, in my blogs. Goods? What Goods? (KIDDING, Goods! You know I love you. You are a lovely couple, but you simply are not a gay man.)
My agenda for D when I get to see him? Shop, shop, shop! D and I LOVE to shop! I need a fabulous dress to wear to Jeff's wedding, fabulous shoes for that dress, fabulous shoes for my other dress for the rehearsal dinner (because we all know the shoes make the outfit, am I right?), and of course the perfect accessories. I can't wait!...
...While writing this I had a call from JW. JW is a girlfriend who is right now in Pennsylvania training to be an investigator like me! Anyway, JW is also jealous of the attention I pay to the Goods in my blog. I told her, as I told D, that she could move her little tush back to Kansas City and I would write about her more. In case you are interested, JW is the girl D tried to like in college. She was, as he put it, his last attempt at a normal life. They could have been very happy, except for the whole he's gay thing.
I hear my husband playing Mario Bros. He's trying to get better than me. It won't happen. I'm the Mario Bros. queen! Still, I'd better go play. You know, pretend I want to play with him so I can keep an eye on his progress. If he gets too good, I'll sneak in more Mario when he's not home. Sneaky!
Thursday, July 15, 2004
Finally, it is on sale! I wanted green, but the only colors left in my size were cobalt, azalea, and cocoa. Wouldn't you have gone for cocoa? I don't have much time left to don my new suit and tan myself out of these wretched speedo tan lines!
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
This is generally what is going through my mind while I am doing the work out with the older kids at swim practice:
--This pool is really dirty.
--I can't let him beat me. I must swim faster. I am the coach. I am older and bigger. I must prevail!
--Ahhh, I forgot how much I love swimming in the morning. The chlorine, oh the chlorine of my heart, how I love thee!!
However, a mere few hours later and I am trying to think of reasons not to get in and swim the next morning. Even as I am pulling on my speedos in the morning, powdering my swim cap, tugging my goggles through my suit strap (that is where cool swimmers put their goggles when not in use. And of course I wear Swedish goggles. All real swimmers wear Swedish goggles.), I am thinking about how much I don't want to go swimming, how much I want to crawl back in bed, how much earlier my work day would be finished if I only weren't going to work out!
This bad attitude of mine has me worried. I have fully convinced myself that when swim team is over until next year, I will be totally disciplined and go work out in the pool daily, or at least almost daily. I even ordered more goggles. But will I really? Will I get off my lazy caboose and go work out? Mesays yes, but methinks no.
--This pool is really dirty.
--I can't let him beat me. I must swim faster. I am the coach. I am older and bigger. I must prevail!
--Ahhh, I forgot how much I love swimming in the morning. The chlorine, oh the chlorine of my heart, how I love thee!!
However, a mere few hours later and I am trying to think of reasons not to get in and swim the next morning. Even as I am pulling on my speedos in the morning, powdering my swim cap, tugging my goggles through my suit strap (that is where cool swimmers put their goggles when not in use. And of course I wear Swedish goggles. All real swimmers wear Swedish goggles.), I am thinking about how much I don't want to go swimming, how much I want to crawl back in bed, how much earlier my work day would be finished if I only weren't going to work out!
This bad attitude of mine has me worried. I have fully convinced myself that when swim team is over until next year, I will be totally disciplined and go work out in the pool daily, or at least almost daily. I even ordered more goggles. But will I really? Will I get off my lazy caboose and go work out? Mesays yes, but methinks no.
Tuesday, July 13, 2004
I knew all about him already. I knew his name. I knew that he was a few years older than me. I knew that while he was in college he visited some friends at their apartment complex. I knew that they went swimming, that he dove in the water, that the water was too shallow for diving, and that he is now a quadriplegic. I knew all of this already.
So when I went to his house today to talk to him about his neighbor, I thought I was prepared. I was not prepared for the punch in the gut I felt as soon as I saw him. First of all, he is gorgeous. He is tall, was wearing adidas pants and tennis shoes, and had brown hair and perfect features. He is a beautiful athletic man, stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, living in his parents' basement. I didn't miss the way he looked at me, the way he looked at my legs while I sat there and asked him the standard questions. I blushed a little when he looked at my face since I knew that he knew that I knew he was looking at my legs.
I stood up quickly after the last question and said I was done. He said that was a shame because he was having a good time. I put my hand with my wedding rings on top of my field notebook and credentials. I usually shake hands at this point, but he didn't have full use of his arms and I didn't know what to do. I started to show myself out, but he said he would walk me out. Then he said, "Well, I'll roll you out, that is." That very nearly broke my heart. Once outside, I told him thank you and that it was very nice to meet him. I meet so many types of people with my work. Sometimes it just hurts.
So when I went to his house today to talk to him about his neighbor, I thought I was prepared. I was not prepared for the punch in the gut I felt as soon as I saw him. First of all, he is gorgeous. He is tall, was wearing adidas pants and tennis shoes, and had brown hair and perfect features. He is a beautiful athletic man, stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, living in his parents' basement. I didn't miss the way he looked at me, the way he looked at my legs while I sat there and asked him the standard questions. I blushed a little when he looked at my face since I knew that he knew that I knew he was looking at my legs.
I stood up quickly after the last question and said I was done. He said that was a shame because he was having a good time. I put my hand with my wedding rings on top of my field notebook and credentials. I usually shake hands at this point, but he didn't have full use of his arms and I didn't know what to do. I started to show myself out, but he said he would walk me out. Then he said, "Well, I'll roll you out, that is." That very nearly broke my heart. Once outside, I told him thank you and that it was very nice to meet him. I meet so many types of people with my work. Sometimes it just hurts.
Monday, July 12, 2004
So I didn't write about this when it happened because, well, it's creepy. I don't like to think about it. A few weeks ago when I was walking up to my door, a strange little blond girl in a dress that was at least 2 sizes to big came bounding up to me.
Strange little girl: HI! I'M SHANNON!!
Me: Hi, Shannon. I'm Sara.
Shannon: HI, SARA!! I JUST LOVE YOUR DOG!
Me: Thanks.
Top is barking frantically in the back yard, I'm trying to dodge the girl and get in the door.
Shannon: Can I pet your dog?
Me: Umm...sure, just a second.
I put down my swimming gear, pocket my keys and walk to the side of the house to free Top. Petting ensues.
Shannon: I'm going to play with your dog in your back yard.
Me: Umm...where do you live?
Shannon: Just down the street (pointing) over there.
Me: Ok, go ask your mom.
Shannon: She knows where I am.
I have never seen this girl. I have never met her mother. How could her mother know where she was??
Me: Still, I would feel better if you would let her know that you were going to be in my yard. Wait, I want to go with you and meet her.
If I'm going to have a strange child in my yard, don't you think it appropriate that I meet her mother? I have been assuming this entire time that she lives in the house cati-corner from me. I have not met them, but know that they have children. It's not so weird that a mother would let her 9 year old go across the street to meet the neighbor's dog, right? Ok. No, she lived 2 blocks away. I carry Top the entire time, not having gone inside to get the leash.
Me to Shannon's mom: Hi. I'm Sara. Shannon wanted to play with my dog and I told her she had to ask her mom first.
I'm feeling very awkward. This is weird.
Shannon's mom to me: OK
Shannon's mom to Shannon: Check in with me in one hour, ok?
An HOUR? I have things to do! I have to work! You don't even know me and you are sending your little girl home with me for an HOUR?! Any why is your 9 year old tramping the streets alone? This is Kansas City, for Pete's sake! Don't you watch the news, woman?
Shannon, Top, and I walk back to my house and go in the back yard. Shannon quickly becomes discouraged when she realizes that Top isn't really the playing sort of dog. It has been about 5 minutes.
Me: I'm going to walk you home now. I have to work.
Shannon: Is it 11:00 already?
Me: Yes.
Shannon: Do you have a cat?
Me: I don't know where she is. She's hiding. Ready to go?
Shannon: What's her name?
Me: Lucy.
Shannon: I'm going to go inside and look for Lucy.
Go inside? You're just going to walk into my house, you strange little freak girl? NOOOOOO!
Me: We'll go grab Top's leash, lock the door, and I'll walk you home. If we see Lucy on the way from the back door to the front door, great.
We go inside and Lucy is waiting for us. Shannon picks up the cat, without asking, and sits down on the couch. This is weird. I feel very uncomfortable having this little girl in my house. I don't have any kids. There is no good reason for her to be in my house alone with me. This is weird. I grab Top's leash.
Me: Ready?
Shannon: I haven't eaten anything all day.
Me: Well, you should have had breakfast, like I did.
Shannon: I haven't eaten and I'm so hungry. I really love green apples, like those kind on your table, I really love those apples.
Me: Oh, really?
Shannon: Yeah, I really love those kind of apples like you have right there.
Me (reluctantly): Do you want an apple, Shannon?
Shannon: Yeah!
Me: Shall I cut it for you?
Shannon: No. takes a bite Yes, cut it for me.
I cut the apple, feeling that this is getting way out of hand. I put the apple in a dish and tell Shannon that she can eat in on the way home. Shannon insisted on holding Top's leash, and just demanded a piece of apple when she was ready for one. I was feeling a little better now that I was taking her home.
Shannon: Maybe I could babysit your dog while you're at work?
Me (slightly panicked): NO! Top is fine in the yard. Shannon, you are not to go in my yard to play with Top. You are not to pet Top through the fence. You can say hi to her, but DO NOT TOUCH HER OR GO IN MY YARD. Understand?
Shannon: Sure!
Finally, I deliver her safe and sound to her own home. I wasn't far before she came running up behind me, grabbing Top's leash.
Shannon: My mom said that I could walk home with you and Top!
Me: Great.
I asked her about school and stuff until I got to my house. Then I told her very firmly to go home.
Shannon: Can I come back later?
Me: No, I'm working.
Shannon: Can I come over tomorrow?
Me: No, we're having company this weekend.
Shannon: The day after tomorrow?
Me: No, you cannot come over here. Walk home carefully.
Later that afternoon I answer a knock on the door. It's Shannon.
Me: Shannon, what are you doing here?
Shannon: I wanted to show you what I got!
She holds out a cup of assorted candy.
Me: Where did you get that candy?
Shannon: Over there.
So she's been bothering other neighbors, as well.
Me: Shannon, you cannot come over here. I am working. I am very busy.
Shannon: Can I come over tomorrow?
Me: NO! You cannot come over here anymore.
Anyway, I hadn't seen the little freak since then until a couple of days ago. I was working in my office, looked out the window, and there she was, right outside my window. I almost had a heart attack. There's something about that little girl that scares me. I don't know what she was doing here, but I think she was bugging the mailman. I haven't seen her since.
Strange little girl: HI! I'M SHANNON!!
Me: Hi, Shannon. I'm Sara.
Shannon: HI, SARA!! I JUST LOVE YOUR DOG!
Me: Thanks.
Top is barking frantically in the back yard, I'm trying to dodge the girl and get in the door.
Shannon: Can I pet your dog?
Me: Umm...sure, just a second.
I put down my swimming gear, pocket my keys and walk to the side of the house to free Top. Petting ensues.
Shannon: I'm going to play with your dog in your back yard.
Me: Umm...where do you live?
Shannon: Just down the street (pointing) over there.
Me: Ok, go ask your mom.
Shannon: She knows where I am.
I have never seen this girl. I have never met her mother. How could her mother know where she was??
Me: Still, I would feel better if you would let her know that you were going to be in my yard. Wait, I want to go with you and meet her.
If I'm going to have a strange child in my yard, don't you think it appropriate that I meet her mother? I have been assuming this entire time that she lives in the house cati-corner from me. I have not met them, but know that they have children. It's not so weird that a mother would let her 9 year old go across the street to meet the neighbor's dog, right? Ok. No, she lived 2 blocks away. I carry Top the entire time, not having gone inside to get the leash.
Me to Shannon's mom: Hi. I'm Sara. Shannon wanted to play with my dog and I told her she had to ask her mom first.
I'm feeling very awkward. This is weird.
Shannon's mom to me: OK
Shannon's mom to Shannon: Check in with me in one hour, ok?
An HOUR? I have things to do! I have to work! You don't even know me and you are sending your little girl home with me for an HOUR?! Any why is your 9 year old tramping the streets alone? This is Kansas City, for Pete's sake! Don't you watch the news, woman?
Shannon, Top, and I walk back to my house and go in the back yard. Shannon quickly becomes discouraged when she realizes that Top isn't really the playing sort of dog. It has been about 5 minutes.
Me: I'm going to walk you home now. I have to work.
Shannon: Is it 11:00 already?
Me: Yes.
Shannon: Do you have a cat?
Me: I don't know where she is. She's hiding. Ready to go?
Shannon: What's her name?
Me: Lucy.
Shannon: I'm going to go inside and look for Lucy.
Go inside? You're just going to walk into my house, you strange little freak girl? NOOOOOO!
Me: We'll go grab Top's leash, lock the door, and I'll walk you home. If we see Lucy on the way from the back door to the front door, great.
We go inside and Lucy is waiting for us. Shannon picks up the cat, without asking, and sits down on the couch. This is weird. I feel very uncomfortable having this little girl in my house. I don't have any kids. There is no good reason for her to be in my house alone with me. This is weird. I grab Top's leash.
Me: Ready?
Shannon: I haven't eaten anything all day.
Me: Well, you should have had breakfast, like I did.
Shannon: I haven't eaten and I'm so hungry. I really love green apples, like those kind on your table, I really love those apples.
Me: Oh, really?
Shannon: Yeah, I really love those kind of apples like you have right there.
Me (reluctantly): Do you want an apple, Shannon?
Shannon: Yeah!
Me: Shall I cut it for you?
Shannon: No. takes a bite Yes, cut it for me.
I cut the apple, feeling that this is getting way out of hand. I put the apple in a dish and tell Shannon that she can eat in on the way home. Shannon insisted on holding Top's leash, and just demanded a piece of apple when she was ready for one. I was feeling a little better now that I was taking her home.
Shannon: Maybe I could babysit your dog while you're at work?
Me (slightly panicked): NO! Top is fine in the yard. Shannon, you are not to go in my yard to play with Top. You are not to pet Top through the fence. You can say hi to her, but DO NOT TOUCH HER OR GO IN MY YARD. Understand?
Shannon: Sure!
Finally, I deliver her safe and sound to her own home. I wasn't far before she came running up behind me, grabbing Top's leash.
Shannon: My mom said that I could walk home with you and Top!
Me: Great.
I asked her about school and stuff until I got to my house. Then I told her very firmly to go home.
Shannon: Can I come back later?
Me: No, I'm working.
Shannon: Can I come over tomorrow?
Me: No, we're having company this weekend.
Shannon: The day after tomorrow?
Me: No, you cannot come over here. Walk home carefully.
Later that afternoon I answer a knock on the door. It's Shannon.
Me: Shannon, what are you doing here?
Shannon: I wanted to show you what I got!
She holds out a cup of assorted candy.
Me: Where did you get that candy?
Shannon: Over there.
So she's been bothering other neighbors, as well.
Me: Shannon, you cannot come over here. I am working. I am very busy.
Shannon: Can I come over tomorrow?
Me: NO! You cannot come over here anymore.
Anyway, I hadn't seen the little freak since then until a couple of days ago. I was working in my office, looked out the window, and there she was, right outside my window. I almost had a heart attack. There's something about that little girl that scares me. I don't know what she was doing here, but I think she was bugging the mailman. I haven't seen her since.
Thursday, July 08, 2004
My life has been spectacularly boring as of late, which explains the lack of regular postings on my part. Nothing blog-worthy has happened in weeks! Yesterday as I was taking the trash out, the bag busted and I got garbage--used cat litter--all over my spiffy black suit. That's the whole story, though.
I thought about writing about television...again. You know, how The OC hasn't gotten enough credit for it's likeable characters and clever writing, how Seinfeld cracks me up, how when I watch Everybody Loves Raymond late at night I laugh so hard I can't go to sleep for hours, how I think Joan of Arcadia is a beautiful and funny drama and I wish I remembered to watch it more often, how I miss the Nick at Nite line up that included I Love Lucy, The Odd Couple, Taxi, Newhart, and the Dick VanDyke Show (it's too early for me to look up VanDyke to see if I spelled it right). But my television blogs get old, right?
So this is what you get, a big nothing blog. I get up really early, drink a diet coke, work a bit, go to swim practice, take some advil (oh what a headache I get from those little monsters), work some more, make dinner, clean up after dinner, go to bed, get up really early, drink a diet coke...
I thought about writing about television...again. You know, how The OC hasn't gotten enough credit for it's likeable characters and clever writing, how Seinfeld cracks me up, how when I watch Everybody Loves Raymond late at night I laugh so hard I can't go to sleep for hours, how I think Joan of Arcadia is a beautiful and funny drama and I wish I remembered to watch it more often, how I miss the Nick at Nite line up that included I Love Lucy, The Odd Couple, Taxi, Newhart, and the Dick VanDyke Show (it's too early for me to look up VanDyke to see if I spelled it right). But my television blogs get old, right?
So this is what you get, a big nothing blog. I get up really early, drink a diet coke, work a bit, go to swim practice, take some advil (oh what a headache I get from those little monsters), work some more, make dinner, clean up after dinner, go to bed, get up really early, drink a diet coke...
Monday, July 05, 2004
The Goods took possession of their new house on Saturday, so Kevin and I woke up that morning and drove out to the ass end of nowhere for a fun filled day of cleaning and painting. We worked hard all morning, and N. Good's parents provided a lovely lunch. After lunch, all the parents and sisters and brothers and nieces and nephews left. This left us free to say as many bad words as we pleased, which we had all been holding back all day. Also after lunch, with the cuss words and laughter bouncing off the walls, we got to some serious wall and ceiling painting. At this point I should note that N. Good is very hot natured and had the AC working hard and the windows shut tight. Afternoon found us all dizzy and giggling from the paint fumes, all four laying face up on the back deck. I should also note that Kevin calls N. Good Biggin'. After deciding that we should get back to work, Kevin was the first one to sit up. The sun hit him in the eyes and he squealed--yes, squealed--and said in a high nasal voice, "Biggin', I can't see you!" But really, he said Biggin' in some strange accent so that it sounded like, "Beeeggin', I can't see you!" I guess you sort of had to be there, but we about busted our seams we were laughing so hard.
Thursday, July 01, 2004
I see my neighbors every Wednesday morning. I mean, I really see my neighbors. Wednesday morning is trash day, you see. I typically remember to gather the trash and put it in the garage on Tuesday evening. On my way out in the morning, I plop it at the end of the driveway. My neighbors, on the other hand, don't have this forethought. I really don't need to know what my neighbors wear to bed. Why don't they cover up a bit before taking the trash out? There's plenty of time! On the way to work early yesterday morning, I saw a little old lady hobbling out to the end of the driveway in a fairly small nightie. That made me smile. Turning to look the other way, I saw an equally old man across the street dragging his trash bag along the driveway. He was wearing a bright pink night shirt tucked into maroon polyester pants that weren't fastened, but clearly pulled on for the purpose of taking out the trash. At least he tried. After placing the trash at the curb he backed up, surveyed it, and adjusted it. I watched in my rearview mirror as he did this a few more times, from different angles. By the time I lost sight of him, he was squatting down in the middle of the driveway staring at his trash. I almost circled around to make sure he made it back to his feet, but I was running late. There were other half-naked-trash-toting neighbors, but he took the cake.
