Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

Sometimes when I'm with another investigator and we are both conducting official business, it is very hard for us to act mature, adult, and professional. Yesterday, I was with a coworker at a local police station, where we were both getting records. He was verifying the spelling of his subject's name, which happened to have the letters F U in the middle of it. So while spelling my coworker said,"Blah, blah, F U, blah..."

The clueless police officer repeated loudly, "F U?"

I snickered and tried to turn it into a yawn. My coworker, with a straight face, looked at the officer and said, "Yeah. F U."

When my coworker sat down I was all, "You said F U to the police officer!" and my coworker was all, "I know! I was like, 'Yeah, F U!'" We laughed about it for another few minutes, then harder outside when we could be obnoxious about it, we laughed all the way to the car, and then all the way to lunch, saying, "F U!"

I told you, we turn into children with badges.

60) If I can stay inside, I love the rain. If I have to go outside, I hate the rain.

59) I like to pick people up at the airport. I'm always so happy to see them!

58) It's so hard to buy presents for men. ALL men.

57) I'm going to name my first girl Amber and my first boy Gus.

56) There are three things I don't like to shop for: Jeans, Bathing suits, and Bras.

55) I listen to audio books in my car.

54) I believe that the honor system makes usually honest people behave dishonestly.

53) I'm about to throw my fax machine out the window. Stupid machine!

52) I have no intentions of going back to school. Ever.

51) I love the smell of clean laundry still warm from the dryer.

70) I complain a lot. I know this and yet I seem powerless to change it.

69) I love to shop. Love, love, love to shop.

68) I don't have any credit card debt.

67) I hope I live long enough to pay off my student loans.

66) I don't mind eating alone in restaurants as long as I have a book.

65) I'm a lazy, lazy girl.

64) I get excited about going to the library.

63) I'm never not in the middle of a book.

62) Even though I am a very frequent diner at Imo's, I have never correctly answered the daily Trivia question and received a free cookie. I always try, though.

61) I have never taken a vacation with my husband.

Who here remembers Roos? I'm talking about the shoes. KangaROOS. Guess what my feet are wearing right now? You guessed it...ROOS!! New shoes make me so happy, which is good because I've had an otherwise rotten day. But that doesn't matter, because I have the cutest sneakers that make me feel five years old.

80) I cook dinner nearly every night.

79) I have a recurring dream that I can breath underwater.

78) Almost every day I notice another way in which I am like my mother.

77) I have been to Mexico, England, France, Germany, Austria, Liechtenstein, Switzerland, Italy, and Greece.

76) My oldest friend is Lauren Bay, who I have known since I was 5 and she was 4. We only talk occasionally now, but still have a strong bond.

75) My favorite movie is Dirty Dancing. I can't help it. I'm a sucker.

74) I watch three soap operas religiously--The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, and As the World Turns. I'm still a sucker.

73) At the memorial service for my grandfather, Benno, I surprised myself by crying so hard that I thought my head was going to cave in.

72) I am only prejudiced against people with prejudices. And then I get so angry!!

71) We have dinner with our friends, the Goods, about once a week. We take turns cooking for each other.

Kevin and I are painting our kitchen cabinets. Red. What we thought was going to be a weekend project has turned into The Project That Never Ends. The good thing about it, though, is that we are doing something together and we get to talk. Life gets so hectic that it seems we never get to talk to each other. So while we have our heads stuck in our respective cabinets we curse as our hair gets stuck to the paint and we talk about our days. It's nice. Granted, the longer this project goes on, the more our conversation starts to sound like:

Me: I HATE this. I really HATE this! Are we EVER going to be finished?

Kevin: No. Never. Man, this blows.

Me: (giggling) Yeah, it blows!

Still, it's nice being together. Plus, when we take breaks and I want to watch TiVo, Kevin doesn't mind because I let him pick the soap opera to watch and he is sort if into a couple of them. He would never admit that, though, so don't even ask him about it.

Dreams

Late Friday night/early Saturday morning.
I was talking to my mom while sitting on the bleachers at SMSU by the pool where I used to practice. I said, "I know I already swam today, but doesn't looking at the pool just make you want to swim?" Mom said that it didn't make her want to swim, but that I should. So I did, but as usual in my dreams my muscles weren't working right and I couldn't do it. So I got out and went to change. In the locker room these girls approached me and were saying how Regis thought I was so great. I modestly said, "Nooooo, he doesn't!" They all said YES! Regis just loves you and says that you make a lot of money for what you do. I explained to them that Regis only liked me and thought I made a lot of money because I always had change to buy him candy. Dream over.

Late Saturday night/early Sunday morning.
I answered the phone to realize that I had slept straight through from Friday evening to Sunday evening. I got off the phone when my younger brother, Benjamin, came home from a camping trip. I told him that I had slept for two whole days and he said, "Topper!" So we put Top outside and I went to see if she had had any accidents while I was sleeping. I turned to see Benjamin walking down the hall with a drenched Top under his arm. He shrugged and rolled his eyes saying, "Top jumped in the pool and was drowning again." As if this happened often! So I continued checking the house and saw that Top had covered the new family room carpet with sloppy joes. Dream over.

90) I have an uncontrollable sweet tooth and often give myself a tummy ache from too much candy consumtion.

89) My day doesn't feel complete if I haven't talked to my Mom.

88) I have an Uncle Bingo and an Aunt Duck. Really.

87) My high school sweetheart, my first "real" love, was Mike Kendall. He's gay.

86) I listen to audio books whenever I am alone in the car.

85) I have had three shoulder surgeries.

84) I won't dance in public, but Kevin and I dance all the time at home. Just us. It's bad.

83) I can parallel park, but if someone is behind me I get stressed out and sometimes it takes me two tries.

82) My favorite season is Fall.

81) When we were seniors in college my best friend, my Brad, took me to see Phantom of the Opera.

Since my sister is almost done with her 100 things, I'm going to start mine. I, however, am going backwards:

100) I take the stairs instead of the elevator.

99) I buy new shoes when I am feeling blue.

98) I pretend not to like my cat, but really I love her.

97) I got stuck on an escalator when I was a little girl and it still scares me to use them.

96) My younger brother was my best friend growing up, but now we hardly speak.

95) I got married at the county courthouse because I don't like weddings.

94) I like men who are tall, thin, and have curly hair.

93) My first love was Brett Hull, who meets none of the requirements in number 94.

92) My first kiss was in 7th grade with Michael Clark. I thought it was gross.

91) I love getting things in the mail.

The interview with the nun was so utterly disappointing. She didn't even look like a nun. I wanted to shout, "No! This interview cannot go on! Go put on your nun clothes!"

If you're going to call yourself Sister, then dress like a damn Sister.