Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner

And a Good Time was had by All.

There were many, many, many funny family moments this weekend but this one beats all. I was sitting next to my brother-in-law, Tom, while Jennifer and Tom's kids did their stockings. Elliott, age 4, came to show us something. In his excitement, he let out a tute. Tom asked him if that was a Christmas tute and Elliott, grinning and nodding, said, "I guess my bottom just wanted to say Merry Christmas." HA!

Yippee!!!

Yippee!!! and Hooray!!! and Wahoo!!! Christmas Schmistmas, today is the day! I've already ordered mine!

(Spell checker wanted to replace Schmistmas with Schenectady.)

(Schenectady: a city in E. New York, on the Mohawk River.)

Weekend:

Friday Night: Kevin and picked up my Uncle Bingo and his son, Bing, at the airport. Bingo took us out to eat at The Corner Cafe. I had chicken and dumplings and they were YUMMY! (I used to have chicken and dumplings every year for my birthday dinner. Now my Mom does the whole guilt trip thing and reminds me that I'm the only one that likes them and why don't I pick something that everyone will enjoy. Not this year, lady! It's MY birthday and I want chicken and dumplings, dammit!) After dinner we came home so Bing could see our house. After we got them on their way home, Kev and I went to give his Mom her birthday present. Then we came home and went to bed.

Saturday: We woke up early to go work out since we didn't get a chance to go to the gym on Friday. When we got there the pool was so crowded that we didn't stay. That was a waste of time. So we came home, prettied up, and went to the Plaza to finish Christmas shopping. We got everything on sale. There may be something to this waiting before the week before Christmas to shop thing. After that, we came home so I could wrap presents and Kevin went out to shop for me. We had chili for supper and then watched In America. Great movie. Then we fell asleep watching Saturday Night Live.

Sunday: Slept in. When I woke up I began my day of baking Christmas cookies. I got all the dough made and then took a break to go work out. I had the pool all to myself for awhile and felt a bit conspicuous with all six lifeguards watching me and judging me. Then we came home and Kevin did, well, nothing. I made chocolate chip cookies, M&M cookies, christmas tree cookies, and these pretzel and chocolate things. It took FOREVER! Finally done, I started supper. After supper (salmon, rice pilaf, and green beans), we sat on our butts and watched Desperate Housewives. And then the weekend was over.

And now it's Monday. We are doing presents with Kev's family tonight. I am relatively sure that Kev didn't get me The OC Season One. I'm also pretty sure my parents didn't get it for me. I made it quite clear to everyone that The OC Season One was my number one request. If I don't get The OC Season One tonight, there will be HELL TO PAY!

I was in fourth grade when my big brother gave me a poster of Brett Hull for Christmas. I don't remember anything else I got that year. This was the first day of a very, very, very long phase (or shall we say obsession) for me. More posters of Brett Hull followed, as did newspaper clippings and magazine articles. Walls that had been covered with New Kids on the Block, Fred Savage, and Doogie Howser were soon covered with images of Brett Hull, shooting, scoring, smiling. Much coveted were the pictures of him without a helmet, his blonde sweaty locks sticking to his forehead.

We moved out of St. Louis and to Springfield when I was 14. I wouldn't say my love for Brett Hull took much of a hit at this point. He was still the man for me. I still watched hockey and still collected the articles about him. When I went to college at 18, I still watched all the games. I chose my two favorite posters of him and hung them on my side of the dorm room. However, as time wore on, I drifted away from his image. When Kevin and moved in together when I was 22, he wouldn't let me put any Brett Hull stuff up. I still have all of it, mind you. All the posters are neatly rolled in a poster box and all of the cards are in a safe place. When we bought our house six months ago, I put my foot down and said I could decorate my office how I wanted. I have just a few mementos of Brett, or my Handsome Hunk of Hot Hullness, as I used to call him. An autographed picture plaque, and autographed puck, and an autographed hat are the items I chose. They make me happy.

Last Saturday we were out with Tim and Julie so we TiVoed Saturday Night Live. We watched it last night and who was on Weekend Update talking about the hockey ban or strike or whatever the hell it is they are doing? Brett! Kevin's head whipped toward me with this funny look on his face. I dropped the remote and, without taking my eyes off of the screen, said, "I think I'm going to cry." I paused it on his face for a few minutes. My heart thumped it's old familiar beat. BRETT-BRETT, BRETT-BRETT.

Love never dies. Never.

Revenge.

This is a story of revenge as it was told to me by my brother-in-law, Tim, and his girlfriend, Julie.

It is Family Fun Night. The six of us sit in couples, The Parents, Kevin, Me, Julie, and then Tim. The premovie screens are flashing. A screen of the AMC theater staff displays.

Julie: (turning to me) See that fat girl on the screen? That's what my roommate looks like.

Tim: Yeah, PH.

Julie: We don't call her PH anymore.

Tim: I feel sort of bad about that. Sort of.

Julie: See, a couple of weeks ago our alarm went off and Tim had to get up and go to work. As soon as the alarm went off, we heard Fat Donna jump out of bed and run to the bathroom. Now Tim was going to be late to work.

Tim: Fat Donna stayed in the bathroom for like 20 minutes...

Julie: ...and then she left the apartment right away. She did it on purpose.

Tim: So when I was in the shower I peed in her shampoo and conditioner.

Julie: When I got in there the bathroom reeked of urine.

Tim: That's because I pissed on her loofa, too!

Julie: She still doesn't know, and she still uses that loofa.

I'm dying laughing, but am still confused about the PH thing.

Tim: PH. Pee Hair. And if she does that again I'm gonna poop on her bed.

It's baaaaaack! The Mystery Rash, that is. After meeting a coworker at Custard's Last Stand and indulging in a Berry Berry Berry concrete, I find myself with puffy eyes, a scaly face and neck, and a puffy lower lip. It seems that I may be having a reaction to one or more of the berries in the Berry Berry Berry concrete. But which one? This is very disconcerting because I LOVE fruit. Berries especially. If I didn't love berries, I wouldn't have had a Berry Berry Berry concrete. The word berry is starting to look silly to me. Kevin, supportive husband that he is, has taken to calling me Puffy Face. Isn't he sweet?

To top it off, tonight is what I've dubbed Reisenbichler Family Fun Night. Now say that with a sneer and dripping with sarcasm. Tonight, we are going to the movies with Kevin's parents, his brother, and his brother's girlfriend. Me, with my puffy face bare of makeup because I don't want to inflame THE RASH! Me, wearing my nerd glasses to try to camouflage my puffy eyes. Me, sitting on my hands to keep from scratching the fiery, itching, burning skin off my face. Reisenbichler Family Fun Night, indeed!

Kevin doesn't appreciate my humor, my quick wit. The other night for dinner I made Ziti Baked with Spinach and Smoked Gouda. After initially wrinkling his nose and asking where the meat was, Kevin really enjoyed it. He took the leftovers to work for lunch today. When he got home and I was emptying his lunch box I asked, "How was your lunch? Was it gouda?" HA! I cracked myself up with that one, but Kevin just looked annoyed. Tell me that's not funny! Was it gouda? HAAA!

Sometimes I think I can make things happen. Not out of will, not even on purpose. Sometimes things just happen to the way I want them to. For example, for the last two years I have been grumpy about my company not offering dental insurance. I've grumped and grumped and grumped about it. Last week, I made the decision to start really trying to take care of me teeth again. Starting last Monday, I have flossed every day (except Saturday, I forgot). Anyway, exactly one week after I started flossing my teeth, after two whole years of not flossing my teeth and not having dental insurance, I got a packet from work offering dental insurance! Coincidence? I think not.

When it Rains, it Pours

That's what Kev said when we started spending money left and right on Top, the truck, the water bill, etc..."When it rains, it pours." As he is constantly worrying about money, I just rolled my eyes and said we were doing just fine. After all, I'm the one managing the finances and I'm the one who knows how much we have or don't have. And now I'm telling you. When it rains, it pours. Grrr! The stupid garbage disposal exploded last night. Ok, it didn't explode, but it sort of did. Suffice it to say, it was huge smelly mess and we have to buy a new garbage disposal, which we can't afford until Friday so now the kitchen is a big stinky monster mess for another whole day! ARGH!